


The Kidnaping Of One Mr Kim Junmyeon

by AlexAlva (Elyssian)



Series: Astra inclinant, sed non obligant. [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Its part of a bigger picture, M/M, MAMA AU, Multi, Sci-Fi AU, a gay sci fi au on mars involving theft and murder, erm, yeah its also a MAMA AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 06:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10961442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elyssian/pseuds/AlexAlva
Summary: Or, as Baekhyun would put it, the Rom-Com that bonded the best jack-of-all-trades in the south Piers, an amnesiac giant and a five hundred year old mummy.





	The Kidnaping Of One Mr Kim Junmyeon

When Luhan inquired as to why or how Junmyeon came to have Yixing and Kris in such close company- or as Luhan put it, why they were quite obviously enjoying a partnership that went beyond sex- they accredited it to an episode involving a faked pregnancy, ovens and chandeliers, a funeral, a birthday party, a staged wedding, a hundred or so rabbits, the disposal of a not-really-dead body, an actual wedding and a dramatic eloping.

Luhan quite dreaded asking further and left it at that.

* * *

 

Junmyeon came to understand that while Kris might have been more than open to leaving for his own damn house, say, a month ago, the notion was entirely lost on him now that Yixing had planted himself into Junmyeon's premises like a parasitic fern. A. Ery cute parasitic fern. Once Yixing had made himself home, Kris got the idea that he could do the same. The latter had taken to sleeping on anything that counted as a surface and Yixing had in turn seamlessly blended into Junmyeon's once dusty kitchen. Despite the fact that Junmyeon had reluctantly surrendered two rooms to them as a compromise, Yixing had insisted on sleeping with Junmyeon (or Kris if he could) and Kris insisted on laying claim to the most unorthodox sleeping places he could find. Like the oven, which Junmyeon had sleepily cracked open one morning with the vague desire to bake something with walnuts only to discover that it fit a 1.9-meter giant perfectly. Junmyeon had stared, Kris had slept on and Junmyeon had walked away to get more coffee.

Junmyeon did attempt to push Yixing into getting his own place with a touch more vigour than he did with Kris because Yixing was a wilder card than Kris was. Which spoke volumes, since Kris was an amnesiac with the ability to break the sound barrier and a government issued fake identity that didn't exist half a year ago. Junmyeon's first and only attempt went somewhat like this:

“Yixing,” Junmyeon began over a midnight snack of soggy cereal. Bless the makers of cereal. “You're planning on staying here? Not gonna get your own space?”

“Yep!“ Yixing settled the question neatly, then he leant forward and did that absolutely beautiful thing he could do with his dimples and collarbones and soft smiles. Junmyeon's only memory of what happened next was a great deal of very passionate kissing and a great deal of very naked cuddling.

The morning after that they all sat down for breakfast and when Yixing asked for the butter Junmyeon passed it over Kris's head as he coaxed their ancient toaster to spit out his burnt toast.

* * *

 

One of the perks of having your very own Zhang Yixing™ was that he the fact that he was one hundred percent a nice guy. He laundered, he cooked, he forced Kris to get the groceries sometimes- when Junmyeon asked for hotpot despite it being the height of summer, Yixing asked if there was anything specific he wanted in it. When Junmyeon wanted to try having Yixing on top in sex he didn't laugh, and Junmyeon supposed Kris was nice too for letting him top the giant with nothing but a smile when he asked. (Kris was also situationally dumb, which levelled his nice points.) When Junmyeon asked Yixing to slam the door as hard as he could when ‘this well-dressed youth calling himself Jisoo was at the door’ Yixing did exactly that and Junmyeon had to arrange for someone to repair the door frame.

“Whoozat?” Kris mumbled from the top of Junmyeon's bookshelf. The blanket he had dragged up with him was covering the ugly cat figurines Junmyeon had lined up on the tallest shelf. They had been a gift, he vaguely remembers.

“Nobody.” Junmyeon hummed cheerfully as he went back to hacking the district police's records. “Go back to sleep. I'll wake you up for dinner.”

About an hour later they sat down for a lunch of chicken carbonara with a side of pre-prepared spring rolls because Yixing got too distracted with the new rabbits on display at the pet store and they'd only managed to drag him out after the store clerk burst into tears two hours before the mall was closing. Well-dressed Jisoo never came back that day, for which Junmyeon was grateful, but he did send a notice to Junmyeon's private modem the next day, which had the short man cursing up and down the building.

“I've got to block him all over again…” Junmyeon muttered darkly as he plugged his handheld modem into his home console. Kris, freshly shaken down from the chandelier, peered over his shoulder and read out the notice. It took him a minute to shake the sleep out of his eyes but Junmyeon let him slump over his shoulder. Kris was cute when he was sleepy. He didn't tower as much over Junmyeon when he slouched.

“ ‘You are hereby invited to the birthday party of one Wang Eunah’. Huh. Sounds like a rich kid's party.”

“Really?” Junmyeon muttered absently. The tracer he was running for the console address was hitting a wall. Yixing came up to rest his chin Junmyeon's shoulder, reading the cursive, decorated words ok the digital invite. He was more of a paper and ink person but he was also five hundred years old so most of the new ‘trendy’ new things were lost on him.

“A minister, a science doctor- it says PHD here- and the head of police are on the attendance list.” Yixing cheerfully pointed out. Junmyeon froze. “The commissioner is?”

“By the looks of it, yeah.” Kris shrugged as he thumbed through the invite in Yixing's hand. “Why, do you need to steal something?”

Junmyeon thought about the fortress surrounding the police documents he had been trying to get through for a week and how easy it would be if he just had the head of police's fingerprint or passcode.

“Looks like it. How do you guys feel about a party?”

* * *

 

Junmyeon had to appreciate Kris's dress sense. For an amnesiac hobo, he had an extraordinary grasp on social etiquette that included knowing the different types of suits, for exactly which occasions they were preferably used for and which types would work best on three different people. He overrode the shop when the three popped into Fitters' down the road and they left three bespoke suits on order and several bewildered tailors behind. Junmyeon, not for the first time, wondered who Kris was before that unknown telepath got to him.

“You don't have one?” Kris asked in the shop as he tried to pin Yixing down in a white mock-up, a charmed shop assistant at the ready. “You look like the type to have a suit.” He added as Yixing squirmed away.

“I spilt something on it,” Junmyeon replied absentmindedly as a tailor held several shades of red cloth against his skin. The last formal affair he'd been too had involved a fire and perhaps one or two dead patrons. The suit he was wearing at that time had been thrown into a dumpster somewhere, unsalvageable through the holes and soot. Hopefully, his new suit would fare better for this event. It was considerably more expensive after all.

The remaining days they had till the party was spent trying to make the simplest plan possible- it essentially boiled down to having Yixing be as distracting as he could, Kris would manipulate people away from the target whom Junmyeon would focus entirely on.

“She looks like a sweet lady,” Yixing said as Junmyeon flashed a picture of District 6's Commissioner, Lee Siyeon. She was hitting her fifties, a warm grandmotherly smile softening the angry scar that ran down her left forehead.

“Sweet ladies don't rule drug empires 'Xing.” Junmyeon murmured. “She's been middle-manning some channels for trafficking too apparently. But there's no evidence- well not visibly. Fortunately, when there's money, there's a trail.'' Junmyeon had been paid to get a number of other things but well they didn't need to know that.

“So you want her banking history?” Yixing said, poking at the bibimbap he had set out for dinner. “But why all the work? And it seems awfully simple. ”

“She linked her work account to her private account and 'Myeon's having trouble with the second one, so he wants to find a backdoor through her work account,” Kris explained to him, swiping the kimchi and pulling it like it was a misshapen string of noodles. “Plus, she's got a pretty firm hand in the district's politics so a little thing like minor trafficking and drugs- as long she's not presenting herself as Pro-Soci's no one will dig at her too hard.”

Yixing sighed and turned to watch the sun go down. Junmyeon's building was disguised as an ageing, simple apartment complex that had a standard height of twenty floors for an unstable district like theirs. They were surrounded by equally chipped buildings, most at the same height though certainly they had more occupants. Yixing could see the pinkish glow of the sunset bouncing off them, dulled and discoloured somewhat by the Halos in the lithosphere. He missed the sky he had grown under back at Earth.

“I don't think I grew up here,” Kris says as he shifts himself closer to Yixing. “The sky doesn't feel familiar.”

“Maybe you were from Earth. Like me.” Yixing comments.

“Maybe.”

Yixing could see the sunset reflected in Kris's eyes. And when he turned, they reflected the same loneliness Yixing felt.


End file.
